Fucking Dream.

I had the most fucked up dream last night.

I was at my high school, and there was this big celebration going on in the cafeteria. Everyone was dressed to the nines. There was a big group of us upstairs in a classroom, getting ready. Among these people just happened to be Alexander Skarsgard aka Eric Northman. He was himself, though, not a vampire.
Anyway, this girl in a BEAUTIFUL gown walks into the room to let us know that we can head downstairs, and I immediately feel ridiculous in what I'm wearing. Her dress is all red and black lace. Mine is red and yellow tinfoil, really. It was a dream, but god, it was just awful.
Anyway.
We get downstairs and everyone is having a good time but me. We are sitting at one of the tables and Alexander starts talking to me. I realize that we're sort of on a date here, and I try to be cordial, but I'm just so upset about everyone else looking so much better than me, that I get up and take off.
I open the doors to get into the hallway from the cafeteria, and it's filled with water. The water doesn't spill into the cafeteria, though, it just stays where it is. I wade in, and the water is immediately up to my shoulders.
I start walking towards the front entrance, but then I realize someone is following me. It's Alexander. There's a slight current so I'm being pushed backward, but I grab onto the lockers and keep going.
He eventually catches up to me, opens a locker, and shoves me in, then gets in with me. The lockers are sort of like the Tardis; they're bigger on the inside.
It's completely dark save for the slits in the locker, and we look out, and there are people searching for us.
Alexander tells me that he thinks I look beautiful, and there isn't anyone else but us here.
He goes to kiss me, but then I wake up.

WTF. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Can't. Breathe.

Brady decided to reply to my ad on Craigslist. I was laughing so hard, I literally almost peed on my bed.


first off let me say that I am a woman. I could tell by your post that youre into that kinda shit, you kinky bitch.
I love to watch gay porn and masturbate with my giant double ended BBD (big black dildo). Ass to ass is the best with hot bitches such as yourself.
I would love to meet you at a random ass park, and grope you in your car. I'm sure you wont be against it once you experience my beyond amazing groping skills. After that I would love to take you back to my place for more groping, and maybe some sexual favors can be exchanged.
I have a strange fetish for life size cardboard cutouts of Luke Skywalker from star wars, and to find a woman with one randomly standing in her bedroom would make me drop to my knees and propose right there. Cats are not my favorite animals, so if you have a big fat one with kitty acne, make sure she stays away from me.
Attached is a picture of me.... I hope we can meet.


She also included a picture.

FAIL.

I thought it would be immensely entertaining to put an ad on Craiglist in the personals section. I didn't lie or anything. I just thought I'd enjoy myself.

I think people on Craiglist need to remember how sarcastic the world is, because THIS guy could learn a lesson:

"You claim to be wickedly intelligent, but you're missing a few key points. First, you shouldn't be joining a gym to meet people. You should be joining to improve your body and health. Second, maybe the issue isn't how you look, but your personality? If you express something about yourself that's interesting, there are people who would be interested in you. Third, are you one of those chubby girls who only wants a 'hot, fit guy'? Maybe you're being a hypocrite? Lastly, are you a virgin who's waiting to get married before having sex? Sorry to break it to you, but that's not something that makes you a top candidate for dating."

Well, good golly Miss MOLLY. I replied:

"Thank you for your words of wisdom. Go write a book. You've educated me so thoroughly in my manner of discord."

And quite thankfully, he replied to that, as well:

"And there's more proof of why you're single, which I touched on. You have a lousy attitude and personality. But go on thinking it's because guys are shallow."

Personally, I think he hit the nail on the head. My attitude is downright lousy, and my GOODNESS do I have a shit personality. Tsk tsk tsk, Cayla. Bad.

This dude has been told he's shallow one too many times, and by GOD, he is going to fucking PROVE that he IS NOT, DAMNIT.

I commend him. I applaud him. My Craigslist ad shows me for what I really am, I guess.

A hypocrite. Darn it all.